Dear World,
Nice try. But I see right through your game. I'm not a cookie cutter shape. I am me. I can't force myself to be as skinny as other girls. I can't force my hair to be "perfectly" messy. I can't force myself to go into a music major like ALL my friends from high school. I can't force myself make a CD like everyone I know because I can't write very good songs. I can't force myself to like partying like every other college student. I can't force myself to be who you want me to be.
And that's okay.
I don't need to be anything other than what I am. I don't need to do anything because it's "expected". I don't need to put on a mask that leaves me feeling like you don't even know me. I'm not any of those things. I am the unexpected. I am what makes life a little less boring.
Would it be okay if I didn't live up to your expectations, World?
There's no other option...I can't.
Sincerely,
The Authentic Kristin Olsen
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Busy but Beautiful
I think that title is pretty much going to sum up my year this year.
I am currently just excited about life. These past few weeks, small group has been amazing and has continued to challenge me to grow in new ways. I think I'm going to work backwards.
Today was kind of a crazy day but it was Chelsey's birthday! I went to hang out with Katie at her house and then we met up with Chels for ice cream with Eric and Jamie. It was really fun.
Last night, I stayed up till about 4am. During small group, the thing that we talked about the most was whether or not truth with a capital "T" exists. There were many opinions in the group and this topic challenged every single person sitting in the room to search and never stop searching.
I also found this verse. "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, be thankful in all things for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophesies; but test everything, hold to what is good." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-21
I love this verse. It shows that God is bigger than any question or doubt we may have and that is not only relieving to me but it is also challenging to me. I am challenged to always continue to search, it's not about finding the answer, it's about continually looking for Truth. Crazy. Then Megan stayed after small group and we talked till about 2am and I finished all the homework I had to do around 4.
On Monday, I was just SO frustrated during worship band practice. I don't know why I was so frustrated but I definitely owe all the people that I work with an apology because I wasn't acting in a loving way. I think it was a combination of a lack of sleep over the weekend and having a million classes on Mondays. I also think that there was definitely temptation to be angry. That's no excuse but it's the only thing I can attribute to my terrible attitude.
Sunday was the Rock and the first corporate prayer night. Rob asked me to lead prayer and I'm kind of nervous because I don't feel like I am super mature in my prayer life. I know and trust that God will carry me through it and that He is going to continually teach me how to pray. I'm excited to see where that goes!
Saturday was Chelsey's golden birthday party!!! It was SO much fun! Daniel, Destin, Steven and Karissa came to visit and it was just one of the most fun nights I have had so far at ISU.
Friday was Megan's birthday! We went out to McAlister's and bowling which was super fun! I got no strikes the first game and then three in a row the second game! That was really fun.
I love my friends. I love my family. I love my God :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Ignorant
This weekend was Labor Day Weekend. I went home and had a fantastic time. Saturday, I got to hang out with my family downtown at the Chicago Jazz Festival which was super fun. Sunday I got to hang out with Katie and see Kurt Elling sing. He encored my favorite song in the entire world (In the Wee Small Hours). I just about died. I also got to meet up with one of my friends I haven't seen since 5th grade, Corinthias. He is still such a gentleman and a genuine guy. It was so encouraging and refreshing to talk to him. Then on Monday, I my family had a BBQ and I got to see a bunch of my extended family which was fun.
Another great thing that happened today was the official start of the happy thoughts blog. Check it out and feel free to join if you want!
http://thinkhappywithme.blogspot.com/
The real reason I wanted to post right now is because I just received an e-mail from my Aunt Tonya. Apparently she went to the 8-28 Rally and she e-mailed everyone in our family what really happened rather than what the media says happened in D.C. that day. I was very excited she got to be a part of something she believes in but then I started to wonder...what the heck is the 8-28 rally? When I looked up what is was, I realized that this wasn't some random thing that my Aunt went to, it was actually a huge deal in America and in the D.C. area. It was at this point that I realized a huge mistake I have been making.
I think the media is ridiculous. I don't like that they use violence and politics for good ratings. Because I find the news to be increasingly depressing, I have stopped watching it all together ( I don't even have a TV in my room this year). By doing this, I feel in this present moment that I have actually hurt my cause - my want to become have a more worldwide view of the world and to learn about other people and cultures. It starts with my own backyard. How can I say I don't like the system if I don't know how to change it? How can I start to learn about other people in the world if I don't take the initiative to learn about them? I have not been practicing what I preach. Yea, I could use a million excuses because I really am extremely busy but I want to make this a priority, not just something I will do when life "dies down" a little. Life only gets crazier by the minute, I can rest when I die.
So here it is, in writing: I will no longer stand for ignorance. I promise that I will make a conscious effort to learn more about what is happening in my country and the world around me.
Signed: Kristin T. Olsen September 7, 2010
Another great thing that happened today was the official start of the happy thoughts blog. Check it out and feel free to join if you want!
http://thinkhappywithme.blogspot.com/
The real reason I wanted to post right now is because I just received an e-mail from my Aunt Tonya. Apparently she went to the 8-28 Rally and she e-mailed everyone in our family what really happened rather than what the media says happened in D.C. that day. I was very excited she got to be a part of something she believes in but then I started to wonder...what the heck is the 8-28 rally? When I looked up what is was, I realized that this wasn't some random thing that my Aunt went to, it was actually a huge deal in America and in the D.C. area. It was at this point that I realized a huge mistake I have been making.
I think the media is ridiculous. I don't like that they use violence and politics for good ratings. Because I find the news to be increasingly depressing, I have stopped watching it all together ( I don't even have a TV in my room this year). By doing this, I feel in this present moment that I have actually hurt my cause - my want to become have a more worldwide view of the world and to learn about other people and cultures. It starts with my own backyard. How can I say I don't like the system if I don't know how to change it? How can I start to learn about other people in the world if I don't take the initiative to learn about them? I have not been practicing what I preach. Yea, I could use a million excuses because I really am extremely busy but I want to make this a priority, not just something I will do when life "dies down" a little. Life only gets crazier by the minute, I can rest when I die.
So here it is, in writing: I will no longer stand for ignorance. I promise that I will make a conscious effort to learn more about what is happening in my country and the world around me.
Signed: Kristin T. Olsen September 7, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
First Week of School!
It's been a crazy, amazing, and beautiful first week of school. I am SO excited to be back and just get back into the swing of things even though I am crazy busy (like always? haha).
Anyway. Cornerstone had a kick off BBQ. It was really awesome to see everyone and get to just be together as a church again. I liked that.
It has been amazing being back at school. I was really skeptical because after being in Colorado and surrounded with people who just want to live out your faith, I thought it was going to be tough to be in an environment where that is not the case 24/7. God has been so faithful in helping me realize that is a lie. One of my professors right in the middle of class (with some context of course) told us he is a Christian and then proceeded to talk about how he doesn't like the fact that people who call themselves Christians are so closed minded and don't take the time to learn about other religions and cultures in order to effectively share their faith IN CLASS! I sat there and was just like preach it, brother! haha And then I was talking to my voice teacher who is a grad student here at ISU. She knows I'm a music minor so she asked what I wanted to do with my life and I said I don't know, maybe volunteer around the world or do missions or something and she said pray about it. I was a little shocked so I pushed it a little further and said I was also interested in possibly going on staff with Cornerstone after I get out of school and she was like that is so awesome! She then told me that she is also a believer and that she is really excited that I am one too since not a lot of people in the music department are. So amazing.
Then I was also feeling like after having this passion for God out in Colorado it would be really easy to become complacent and luke-warm back here in Normal. I was really scared of getting like that. God has just revealed Himself over and over and over again here. I feel closer to Him now than I did during the summer. He has provided the opportunity with every new person I have met here to share that I am a Christian and invite them to a Cornerstone event without even trying. It just happens in conversation. The amazing discussions with KK have already begun and it is just so cool. You don't need LT to experience a life like you have at LT. LT teaches you how to live that kind of life in everyday situations which is so cool. I am so lucky that I had the opportunity to go to LT and really learn what it means to be a leader in Christ.
Today I went to the doctor with Katie because she didn't want to go alone and as I was sitting in the waiting room, a mom carrying her must have been 2 year old son walked in with her mother (the child's grandmother) and asked how much it would be to have a doctor see him. The mom was cradling her son because he wouldn't move his arm and he cried every time he tried to move it even a little. The mom let the nurse at the front desk know that she didn't have insurance. The nurse then explained the fees to be seen at this particular doctor's office: $108 to walk in the door and at least and extra $100 if they had to take X-rays. The mother was getting really upset and the grandmother started doing all the talking and they walked out. The mother was crying because she didn't have health insurance and obviously probably didn't have over $200 to just throw around. It was completely heartbreaking. Why can't people get cheap health care? I think that is so appalling. It should be a human right to be able to take your child to get help. It should be a human right to be able to walk into a doctor's office and at least get diagnosed if not get both diagnosed and treated. So sad. I cried because that is so injust.
That's all for now. More as the semester goes on I'm sure.
Anyway. Cornerstone had a kick off BBQ. It was really awesome to see everyone and get to just be together as a church again. I liked that.
It has been amazing being back at school. I was really skeptical because after being in Colorado and surrounded with people who just want to live out your faith, I thought it was going to be tough to be in an environment where that is not the case 24/7. God has been so faithful in helping me realize that is a lie. One of my professors right in the middle of class (with some context of course) told us he is a Christian and then proceeded to talk about how he doesn't like the fact that people who call themselves Christians are so closed minded and don't take the time to learn about other religions and cultures in order to effectively share their faith IN CLASS! I sat there and was just like preach it, brother! haha And then I was talking to my voice teacher who is a grad student here at ISU. She knows I'm a music minor so she asked what I wanted to do with my life and I said I don't know, maybe volunteer around the world or do missions or something and she said pray about it. I was a little shocked so I pushed it a little further and said I was also interested in possibly going on staff with Cornerstone after I get out of school and she was like that is so awesome! She then told me that she is also a believer and that she is really excited that I am one too since not a lot of people in the music department are. So amazing.
Then I was also feeling like after having this passion for God out in Colorado it would be really easy to become complacent and luke-warm back here in Normal. I was really scared of getting like that. God has just revealed Himself over and over and over again here. I feel closer to Him now than I did during the summer. He has provided the opportunity with every new person I have met here to share that I am a Christian and invite them to a Cornerstone event without even trying. It just happens in conversation. The amazing discussions with KK have already begun and it is just so cool. You don't need LT to experience a life like you have at LT. LT teaches you how to live that kind of life in everyday situations which is so cool. I am so lucky that I had the opportunity to go to LT and really learn what it means to be a leader in Christ.
Today I went to the doctor with Katie because she didn't want to go alone and as I was sitting in the waiting room, a mom carrying her must have been 2 year old son walked in with her mother (the child's grandmother) and asked how much it would be to have a doctor see him. The mom was cradling her son because he wouldn't move his arm and he cried every time he tried to move it even a little. The mom let the nurse at the front desk know that she didn't have insurance. The nurse then explained the fees to be seen at this particular doctor's office: $108 to walk in the door and at least and extra $100 if they had to take X-rays. The mother was getting really upset and the grandmother started doing all the talking and they walked out. The mother was crying because she didn't have health insurance and obviously probably didn't have over $200 to just throw around. It was completely heartbreaking. Why can't people get cheap health care? I think that is so appalling. It should be a human right to be able to take your child to get help. It should be a human right to be able to walk into a doctor's office and at least get diagnosed if not get both diagnosed and treated. So sad. I cried because that is so injust.
That's all for now. More as the semester goes on I'm sure.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
CCY - The Real Story
Since my synopsis of hiking CCY was clearly inadequate my friend Sammy has a hilarious step by step instructions of how to hike CCY (she was one of the ones who came with) that you should read.
ENJOY!
Days
That's right... DAYS TILL I AM HOME!
Crazy. I guess I should probably do a little bit of a wrap up for all you wonderful people. So here it goes.
15 Things I will miss about LT/have learned at LT:
1) I will miss...the amazing people I have met out here. It has been awesome to know and be known.
2) I have learned...to let people in on my not so perfect life. To be vulnerable and not be afraid to be truly known
3) I will miss...DEEP THEOLOGICAL DISCUSSIONS! mostly with Daniel haha
4) I will miss...feeling like I can talk about my doubts in my faith with anyone
5) I have learned...even though its hard for me, that I deserved to be loved and served and that it is okay to let people serve and love me
6) I have learned...that every single person in my life has been put there to build into my life and for me to build into their life. It's a beautiful situation
7) I have learned...growth is not easy. It is always hard and you will always cry.
8) I have learned...that dealing with past disappointments in your life is important in order to move on to other things
9) I will miss...HIKING! (never thought I would say that...)
10) I will miss...the beauty that surrounds me and walking through a postcard on my way to work every day
11) I have learned...that questioning your faith is okay and that it really causes you to figure out what you believe
12) God continues to grow you even when you feel stagnant and discouraged
13) I will miss...my project and life group
14) I will miss...worshiping with Karissa
15) I will miss...stargazing. There are a billion more stars that you can see here.
**Bonus: I will miss...having an excuse to not shower for 3 days in a row because you are gonna be hiking all 3 days anyway! haha
15 Things I will not miss about LT/ things I am looking forward to after LT:
1) I will not miss...waking up at least by 5:30am for work if not earlier to go on a hike.
2) I am looking forward to...not being in a Christian bubble. I don't feel like God has called me to do that at all. Community is so important and so awesome but I feel like it is so easy to get complacent if you do that.
3) I will not miss...Spruce food. Home-cooked meal, here I come!
4) I am looking forward to...taking everything I learned out here back to ISU and applying it to my life. This is not just a "summer camp" high. This has been a life changing experience
5) I am looking forward to...loving people in a radical way and more fully. Because I have learned what it is to be loved and what that means I feel I can do a better job at doing that :)
6) I will not miss...crappy phone service/internet. I am so sorry to the people back home because I really would have liked to talk to you guys more. It was just so hard.
7) I will not miss...being soooo busy. A 40 hour work week + LT stuff + hikes + time with friends + trying to talk to people back home = zero time.
8) I will not miss...feeling like I can't get adequate God time.
9) I will not miss...being 1000 miles away from what I really call home
10) I am looking forward to meeting the new freshman and transfers and getting the chance to really build into their lives
11) I am looking forward to a potential direction for my life and being able to continue to trust God with my future plans
12) I will not miss...crying
13) I am looking forward to...continuing my always growing faith in God
14) I am looking forward to...being able to run for miles without being short of breath (at least until I get re-acclimated)
15) I will not miss...feel stuck at the YMCA. Beautiful place but there's not a whole lot to do on "Y" grounds.
**Bonus: I will not miss...the showers/bathrooms (trust me...it's sad that I am looking forward to Colby 5 showers/bathrooms...)
So that is kind of a run down of some...stuff. haha and that's all i got
I just wanted to let you know also that I hiked CCYF [Chapin (12,454 ft) Chaquita (13,069 ft) Ypsilon (13,514) and Fairchild (13,502)] on Thursday. The other two people I was with only CCY and I decided to do Fairchild really quick while they rested before the hike down on Ypsilon. It was really fun. I got to wait out a thunderstorm that a hikemaster didn't even wait out (check out this pic!) and see a beautiful view.
And end monologue. haha
Crazy. I guess I should probably do a little bit of a wrap up for all you wonderful people. So here it goes.
15 Things I will miss about LT/have learned at LT:
1) I will miss...the amazing people I have met out here. It has been awesome to know and be known.
2) I have learned...to let people in on my not so perfect life. To be vulnerable and not be afraid to be truly known
3) I will miss...DEEP THEOLOGICAL DISCUSSIONS! mostly with Daniel haha
4) I will miss...feeling like I can talk about my doubts in my faith with anyone
5) I have learned...even though its hard for me, that I deserved to be loved and served and that it is okay to let people serve and love me
6) I have learned...that every single person in my life has been put there to build into my life and for me to build into their life. It's a beautiful situation
7) I have learned...growth is not easy. It is always hard and you will always cry.
8) I have learned...that dealing with past disappointments in your life is important in order to move on to other things
9) I will miss...HIKING! (never thought I would say that...)
10) I will miss...the beauty that surrounds me and walking through a postcard on my way to work every day
11) I have learned...that questioning your faith is okay and that it really causes you to figure out what you believe
12) God continues to grow you even when you feel stagnant and discouraged
13) I will miss...my project and life group
14) I will miss...worshiping with Karissa
15) I will miss...stargazing. There are a billion more stars that you can see here.
**Bonus: I will miss...having an excuse to not shower for 3 days in a row because you are gonna be hiking all 3 days anyway! haha
15 Things I will not miss about LT/ things I am looking forward to after LT:
1) I will not miss...waking up at least by 5:30am for work if not earlier to go on a hike.
2) I am looking forward to...not being in a Christian bubble. I don't feel like God has called me to do that at all. Community is so important and so awesome but I feel like it is so easy to get complacent if you do that.
3) I will not miss...Spruce food. Home-cooked meal, here I come!
4) I am looking forward to...taking everything I learned out here back to ISU and applying it to my life. This is not just a "summer camp" high. This has been a life changing experience
5) I am looking forward to...loving people in a radical way and more fully. Because I have learned what it is to be loved and what that means I feel I can do a better job at doing that :)
6) I will not miss...crappy phone service/internet. I am so sorry to the people back home because I really would have liked to talk to you guys more. It was just so hard.
7) I will not miss...being soooo busy. A 40 hour work week + LT stuff + hikes + time with friends + trying to talk to people back home = zero time.
8) I will not miss...feeling like I can't get adequate God time.
9) I will not miss...being 1000 miles away from what I really call home
10) I am looking forward to meeting the new freshman and transfers and getting the chance to really build into their lives
11) I am looking forward to a potential direction for my life and being able to continue to trust God with my future plans
12) I will not miss...crying
13) I am looking forward to...continuing my always growing faith in God
14) I am looking forward to...being able to run for miles without being short of breath (at least until I get re-acclimated)
15) I will not miss...feel stuck at the YMCA. Beautiful place but there's not a whole lot to do on "Y" grounds.
**Bonus: I will not miss...the showers/bathrooms (trust me...it's sad that I am looking forward to Colby 5 showers/bathrooms...)
So that is kind of a run down of some...stuff. haha and that's all i got
I just wanted to let you know also that I hiked CCYF [Chapin (12,454 ft) Chaquita (13,069 ft) Ypsilon (13,514) and Fairchild (13,502)] on Thursday. The other two people I was with only CCY and I decided to do Fairchild really quick while they rested before the hike down on Ypsilon. It was really fun. I got to wait out a thunderstorm that a hikemaster didn't even wait out (check out this pic!) and see a beautiful view.
And end monologue. haha
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